5/18/08

Hard Pressed but not Crushed


We live in Southern California, near the desert.

It's hot here. (No really, it was over 100 degrees today).

Our air conditioner is broken. Dead. 6 feet under.

I probably needn't say more...but I will.

It's currently after 10:30 pm and my house is still 80 degrees INSIDE!

This has been going on for four days. I am not happy. And like the old saying goes, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" The baby is crabby, the children are grumpy, and my husband spent all weekend busting his rump in the hot hot weather. Saturday he spent all day in the attic (approx 115 degrees) installing a whole house fan and today he did yard work all day. You can bet...he's NOT happy either.

Yesterday (while he was installing the attic fan and watching the children at the same time, so I could throw my best-friend's baby shower)...the house became a war zone. The children were in Level 5 hurricane mode and the attic fan installation produced tons of rogue drywall and dust. I guess I should also confess that, in light of baby shower prep - I may have neglected my chores a bit too. So imagine my humiliation when a neighbor offered to come over yesterday afternoon and help my husband finish installing the fan. I NEVER wanted anyone to see my house like that again! I fell on the bed last night feeling totally defeated and promised myself (and my children) that tomorrow would be a better day.

It wasn't.

Tomorrow being today...I hit the ground running. But unfortunately lacking the joy I so desperately wanted in my heart. I cleaned up most of the downstairs before breakfast and tried to keep myself in perpetual motion. About the time I hit my mid-morning slump...the phone rang...it was my husband's friend John and he was going to be in town later that day. He wanted to stop by. Uh oh.

I have long had a dream that my husband would never again have to apologize for the state of our home. It's happened a few times before and it was humiliating. I want to be that person who can be on top of things (especially the home) all the time. You know...ready for drop in company on a moment's notice ready. Well this afternoon, he had to apologize. It broke my heart. I need to get back on top of things around here.

So, tomorrow I start anew. I have a wonderful routine in place for home chores...but I haven't been faithful to it ever since Abigail was born. Tomorrow that changes. Please, hold me accountable to this (I'll be posting each evening this week to let you know that I got my chores done...and what I have planned for the next day).

Tomorrow: Change the linens and towels.
Wash Linens and Towels.
Empty all trash.
Take trash down to the curb for pick up on Tuesday.
Grocery Shop.

I know that I shouldn't be so hard on myself...I did just have a baby (3 months ago)...but God has given me an amazing man for a husband who is harder to please than most. And I want nothing more than to make him proud of his family and his home. I know that I am lacking in many areas right now (the home, training of the children, my own appearance/ weight). And it's time to get back to work!

I do feel discouraged. Hard pressed to be exact. But I will not be defeated and I will rely on the Lord to guide me, energize me, motivate me, and strengthen me in my endeavors.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. "
2 Cor 4:7-9

Pray for me :-)

And by the way - The air conditioner repairman is coming tomorrow to fix the AC...tomorrow is going to be a better day, I promise!

No comments: