Peace

"Peace I leave with you;
My peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give to you.
Let not your hearts be troubled,
neither let them be afraid."

John 14:27

As a Mom of 3 children under the age of 5, I often find myself seeking just a moment of peace in the middle of a hectic and noisy day. The wonderful chaos that consumes our home can be overwhelming every once in a great while (smirking). I try to keep us on a pretty tight schedule to keep our home running smoothly. But with speech therapy and ballet, bouts of illness and my husband's crazy work schedule things can easily get off course. As I contemplated John 14:27 this morning and considered my general level of "peace," I began to wonder what I was missing. I realized that as long as things go as planned - in other words - my way...I am a generally peaceful person. I can be productive and pleasant to be around. But the minute things slip out of my hands...it all goes out the window! I find myself running for shelter and craving that "moment of peace" to get me through the day. But what exactly is the source of that peace? My favorite song on the iPod (obviously tuning out the screaming in the background), 5 minutes on facebook while the children watch tv (which always turns into 20), a good workout at the gym, a nice big cold soda (hey, at least it isn't a beer, right), a telephone conversation with a friend? These may bring you peace in the moment....and if you are lucky it may even last for an hour...but is that really enough to get through the day? God tells us that He gives us peace, "not as the world gives..." The world, and things of this world, offer peace that is temporary and conditional. Peace that is rooted in our Lord and Saviour is unconditional and everlasting. No matter what comes our way we can have peace because we know that God is with and knows our current condition. We also know that He sees the big picture especially when we cannot. Furthermore, we know that He (and only He) has our best interest at heart and wants so much to bless us and prosper us. Only when we know these things and keep them close to our hearts can we trust Him with our lives, our circumstances, our disappointments, shortcomings, and chaotic lives and then truly experience His peace. Peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7). Peace that says...my house is sold and we have no idea where or when we are moving and that's ok by me. Peace that says...we are in God's hands and He will provide for our needs. That's the kind of peace that can only come from the Prince of Peace!

Question: Where do you run to for peace? The King of Kings or a temporary fix? Ask God to show you how to truly abide in Him today so that you may experience His unconditional and everlasting peace!

Let not your hearts be troubled, my dear friends,
neither let them be afraid!

SLACKER....

That's right...I am a slacker.

Everyone gasps...

Never suspected it, did you?

It's true...I have been a horrible slacker when it comes to blogging. I didn't even wish you all a Merry Christmas this year! I am so sorry, so very sorry! Can you ever forgive me? After all...it's not like I am raising a 3 ring circus...oops, I mean 3 beautiful children, a yellow lab puppy (commonly referred to as Marley reincarnate), managing a home, and juggling my husband's constantly changing schedule. I really do sit around and eat bon-bons all day. Really. (Actually,I am horrified at the thought...bon-bons are gross).

So, have you forgiven me yet? Things really have been hectic! We had an awesome Thanksgiving and Christmas. We had a visit from our cousins on the East Coast and my kiddo's thoroughly enjoyed playing with Peter and Anna. My family was here for a total of 3 weeks and that was fantastic! The kids had a blast w/ Mimi and Bumpa and Aunt Ashley.

Since the start of a new year, we have changed our schedule a bit. Nicole is attending ICAP (Inland Christian Academic Program) for a Kindergarten 101 class. This is a homeschooling Co-op close to our home. She goes to class for one hour each Wednesday. While Nicole is in her class, Joshua goes to the "preschool room" for snacks and fun with some new friends. Fortunately, Mom got assigned to work in the preschool room the hour he is there...or else I am afraid he wouldn't be so excited about it. We are gearing up to officially start school with Nicole in the fall.

Here is the funny thing about me and homeschooling. I am a very type A, uptight person. I like a schedule. I like to know things in advance. And I do not like to take things lightly. But surprisingly...I am not the least bit stressed about how or when or what curriculum I am going to use for Nicole next year. And for that matter, I am not sure that I will even register her for kindergarten next year. (In CA you do not have to take kindergarten and you do not have to "register" for school purposes until you are 6). We may just do kindergarten for fun! She has already met most of the kindergarten objectives in "preschool," so we may just plug along at our own pace. My sister-in-law was astounded when I shared all of this with her - I think because she knows my personality so well. I explained that this overwhelming peace...peace that surpasses my understanding... is how I KNOW that the Lord has "called" me to homeschool. The conviction is strong and I am certain the He will not only make a way, but show the way as well!

Aside from schooling changes, Nicole has moved up to "the big girl" ballet class. She was previously dancing in the "tiny-tots" class and was invited to move up to the "pre-ballet" class (for 5-7 year olds). She looks so tiny next to all those 7 year olds! She is doing a great job though and even got fitted for her recital costume last night. She says the class is "hard work" but fun. She has even made a new friend, Riley, who is in both her ballet class and her ICAP class.

Joshua is...well...he is still Joshua and we love him more and more each day! Check out his blog http://4theloveofjosh.blogspot.com for more info on latest developments with his health/ diet/ and speech. Just a few weeks ago he tried out a Karate Class at Sunridge Christian Karate. We were excited for him to work on his balance and coordination while increasing his confidence and building character. Unfortunately, he isn't quite ready for the "seriousness" of karate lessons...even in the very young ages. That being said - it was amazing to see him around other little boys...talking and playing and being silly! I never would have imagined that! The instructors were great and offered for us to bring him back every 8 weeks to try a class again and said we can repeat that as many times as necessary until he is ready. In the meantime we are working on discipline at home...standing still, sitting still, and Yes Sir!

And Abigail - it breaks my heart to type the words...she is turning 1 tomorrow. Where did this year go? I cannot even believe a whole year has come and gone. Abigail is the spitting image of Nicole as a toddler. They look the same and...scary enough, their personalities are much the same. Abi is very strong-willed and determined. She is very close to walking and is a super fast crawler who looks for any chance she can find to escape! She maneuvers the stairs with ease and loves mischief. I spend most of my day chasing her around trying to keep her from making (or cleaning up) messes. (Note: see the first paragraph about me eating bon-bons on the couch). She adores her big sister and brother and would follow them anywhere...including into danger, so I have to keep a very close eye on her!

OK, so that is enough update for now. You have my word - I'll be back to post again soon! I have a few devotionals to post and more updates on Joshua's blog as he has really been my focus these past few months! Thanks to you all for your grace - even those of you who pestered and harassed me to get back to blogging :-) Talk to you again soon!

Love, Leah

Wordless Wednessday - Look Mimi...

I have hair!

Not here...

But here it is!

(and it curls too)

Silly Mommy!

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Go see it...now!

My husband and I went to see Fireproof last night. It was our first date in 11 months. Other opportunities had presented themselves - my parents always offer to watch the kids when they are in town...but my husband was not interested in going out on a date together. We have been overwhelmed with trials this year and the toll is wearing on us.

This movie is already actively changing our marriage.

It opened the door to much needed conversations. It encouraged us to say things to one another that we may not have said. And we both agreed that - no matter what - we will make it through the fire together. Not that we didn't feel that way before, but it was a great affirmation of our commitment to our marriage. For better or worse.

The movie itself was phenomenal. Funny, emotional, and action packed. My husband loved it too. The music was awesome. I already bought the soundtrack from iTunes. We will buy it as soon as it comes out on DVD.

For those of you thinking that you will wait to see it when it comes out on DVD....don't wait! Get a babysitter and go to the theater... pay the $20 to see the movie - this not only supports the ministry this church has started, but it also encourages theaters to continue bringing these wholesome inspiring movies to their theater. It was the best $20 we have invested in our marriage yet!

These are the lyrics to one of the songs in the movie...I cry when I even read them.

Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave

Lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in the raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave, may God send His angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Warren Barfield - Love is Not a Fight

Please, go to the movie!

Lip Gloss and Sparkly Hearts

Nicole loves to play with our neighbors out front in the afternoons. This has been a wonderful blessing to us - friends her age just 2 houses down the street. Joshua enjoys playing with them too, which is really nice. Their mom and I enjoy fellowship while the kids play. Watching our children play together has also given me insight into my child's heart that I may not have seen in our own home. Especially Nicole.

You see, Kaitlynn and Gracie are girlie girls and they like make-up and high heels just as much (if not more) than any young girl. Nicole is somewhere in the middle - she likes to dress up and play princess, but she also loves to wrestle with her daddy, sword fight, and play in the dirt. I am not really a girlie girl myself - so she doesn't see a lot of make-up and heels around our house. Of course she is intrigued when the girls next door play make-up. Being the mean mom that I am, I have never allowed her to participate in the make-up free for all (and don't intend to any time soon). I am always willing to paint her fingernails and toenails and that has become one of our favorite bonding activities- doing our nails together. But no make-up. None.

The other day we were at Walmart and I decided it would probably be ok for her to have some CLEAR sparkly lip gloss. I was looking for the flavored lip smackers (chapstick), but couldn't find them anywhere. After much searching, we found the Bon Bons lip gloss and got her a cute little case with sparkly strawberry flavored lip gloss. I have never seen her so excited.

She had practically used the whole container by that evening. At one point she came to me -all puckered up and said," Mom, I cannot wait to show everyone my sparkly lips - everyone is going to love them!" I decided to reach for a teaching moment - "Nicole," I said, "Do you know what is even more important than people loving your sparkly lips?" She pondered, but was speechless. How could anything be more important than beautful lips? I replied, " Showing God your sparkly heart. God looks at our beautful hearts, not our beautiful faces. So instead of showing off your lips, lets try to think of some ways we can show off our sparkly hearts for Jesus." We brainstormed a few ideas - share our toys, give to people who are in need, obey mommy and daddy (my personal favorite) and tell everyone about Jesus. Now, when she puts on her lip gloss and shows me her pouty smile...she reminds me, "Don't worry mom, I have a sparkly heart that matches my lips too."

While I may not be overly concerned with my outward physical appearance (as a matter of fact, I should probably be a little more concerned with it :-), I am a people pleaser. I have a very hard time telling people "No" when they need a favor (although I am getting better) and I like to appear better than I really am - organized, creative, gifted, peaceful, gentle, etc. Like for example - I like to be early to Bible Study, but what good is that when I spent my morning yelling at the kids to get them out the door on time so I could look good to others? Or that I offer to bring a meal to someone in need, but grumble to myself because it means an extra trip to the store w/ 3 kids and an extra meal to cook and another trip out...Man may see the outward sparkly deed (always with a smile, of course), but God sees and knows my heart. Yikes. I better stop now because I am becoming more and more convicted with every word!

I guess now when I see Nicole put on her lip gloss, I will think of all the "good deeds" and "perfect image" I try to put on so other people will love my sparkle. Maybe I need to spend a little less time trying to sparkle and a little more time on my knees in the closet (prayer closet, that is...which does happen to be my clothes closet). Truthfully, I'll be glad when the sparkly lip gloss is gone, and we can focus a bit more on all of our hearts around here! And prayerfully, one day I'll be able to serve others and say, "Don't worry Lord, my sparkly heart matches my my sparkly deeds for You."

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

1 Samuel 16:7

"Where are you?"

In a recent study of the first few chapters of Genesis, I was greatly convicted by one simple line:

But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"
Genesis 3:9

You see, Adam and Eve had just committed the grievous sin of eating the forbidden fruit. Their eyes were suddenly opened to their nakedness and they were embarrassed. They sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves and when they heard the LORD walking through the garden, they hid in shame. The LORD, knowing full well of their sin and their current location, gently calls out to them, "Where are you?"

Begin conviction...

Somehow, "NICOLE ASHLEY GET YOUR HIND-END IN HERE RIGHT NOW...AND I MEAN NOW!" doesn't sound quite the same as, "Where are you?"

Our Bible Study Commentary notes that "God deals with His fallen creatures in grace, wooing them back to Himself in godly sorrow and repentance. Ouch. If that is how God deals with me (fallen creature that I am), shouldn't I be extending that same grace to my own children?

For example, when I find Joshua covered in permanent marker. And I mean covered. Face and all. Or my bible written in with permanent ink. Or the dog covered in finger paint (ok, that was a little funny, but it did mean that I had to give the dog a bath)...do I respond with gentleness, patience and self-control? Do I gently woo the offender to me with a loving, "Nicole - Where are you? Come see Mommy, please." Or do I yell? Well, you can bet that since I am writing this - I yell (see above comment regarding Nicole Ashley).

There is one thing in life that I never want to be called and that is a fool. Someone dear to me once called me foolish (over something very trivial - corn chips, to be exact) and it cut me very deeply. I thought to myself - the Bible says a lot of very strong things about foolish people and I am NOT one of them. This morning, I found this:

Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
Ecclesiastes 7:9

Foolish me.

Thank goodness my loving Father deals gently and patiently with me, revealing my own shortcomings in His perfect timing. Good thing...

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.
Isaiah 40:11

Or I else I'd be hearing a lot of "LEAH DANIELLE, WHERE ARE YOU AND WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU THINKING..."

As my heavenly Father gently leads me (and continually pulls me back) towards His path of righteousness, I will strive to gently lead the young who are behind me...following me towards that very same path.

PS: I realized that I must need to lighten up a bit because I could not find a single picture of the naughty things my children have done. And some of them were pretty funny. I guess I should laugh a bit more and enjoy the fun of having 3 little ones ages 4 and under!

Wordless Wednesday - Double Trouble

"She made me give her the toy, Really..."

"Trouble? Not us!"

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Back to Business

Things have been crazy here! We passed around a summer bug for a couple of weeks, started speech therapy, ballet, and Community Bible Study, mourned the loss of a dear friend's baby girl and weathered another surgery for Joshua. Whew...I'm tired now. I'll be back after I go take a nap...

Just kidding.

For updates on Joshua...his speech therapy and surgery...go here.

Nicole started an AWESOME ballet program. She is attending the Good New Dance Company compliments of her great-grandmother who is generously paying her tuition. We had tried the local Parks & Rec ballet class, but were unimpressed by the emphasis on booty shaking and sassy attitude (she has enough of that on her own). This dance school focuses on teaching girls how to worship and praise the Lord through dance. They model and insist upon modesty and self-control and use very tasteful dance moves and costumes. I actually saw one of their recitals a few years ago and was so impressed - I couldn't wait for Nicole to get old enough to attend. By then, we had no money, so we had to wait for the Lord to make a way. Nicole was actually praying every night that she would be able to go to ballet class. Praise God - He is good!

We also started back to Community Bible Study (CBS)about 3 weeks ago. This will be my 4th year there and my 3rd year in leadership. The last 2 years I was the teacher for the Jr. CBS class (middle school aged home-schoolers). This year and I am really excited to be the core group leader for the Nursing Mom's class. Abi gets to come in the classroom with me and I get to lead discussion group for the new mommies! I have already been so challenged and blessed by our study of the book of Genesis.

And that brings to me to some sad news. My dear friend (and fellow CBS leader) Hillary and her family have suffered another unthinkable tragedy. Her little girl Lauren is the 4 year old suffering from an inoperable brain tumor that I have written about here. Look to your right and you will see her picture, which links to her blog. Hillary was 37 weeks pregnant with their 3rd baby girl, Brooke Hope, when they lost her just 9 days before her scheduled c-section. Please, please join me in praying for this family. They have suffered more heart-ache in the last 6 months than anyone should in a lifetime.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " Romans 8:28

Wordless Wednesday - Hello World!

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You Want WHAT?!?!

"Mommy, I want to have pink hair."

"Where did you see someone with pink hair," I gently asked my 4 year old...amused at such a silly suggestion.

"I didn't, Mommy, I saw a girl with green hair and I thought I would like to have pink hair."

After a little pressing to figure out where she saw this girl - so I could make sure she NEVER saw her again - I figured out that we drove past a teenager on the block next to our house and that was were the idea blossomed.

Unsure of what to say next, I said what any good mom would say, "You'll have to talk to your daddy about that one." (I of course figured she would forget before he ever got home from work).

But sure enough, she remembered. The minute daddy walked in the door from work she asked," Daddy, can I have pink hair?" My husband, so authoritatively said - "Go ask your mother." Fortunately, she ran off to another room. I looked at my husband and explained that she already had asked me and that I had put her off to him, figuring he would say NO!

I racked my brain for a biblical answer as I try to mold my daughter into the young woman that I wasn't. I figured that she was a little too young to understand this:

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3:3-4)

And I'm not really sure that pink hair qualifies as beauty anyway. I asked my husband if it would be blasphemous to show Nicole where it says, "Thou shalt not color your hair pink..." in the Bible (she can't read, she wouldn't know the difference), but the Holy Spirit immediately reminded me of the scripture:

"Every word of God is flawless;
He is a shield to those who take refuge in him.
Do not add to his words,
or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar."
(Proverbs 30: 5-6)

I was stumped.

Later that night, I was combing her hair before bed when she mentioned to me that she wished she had curly hair like her cousin. Ah Ha! The light-bulb went off in my brain. I knew just what to say...

Mom: "Sweetie, God gave you straight hair and you should be thankful for what He has given you."

Nicole: "But I want curly hair!"

Mom: "If God wanted you to have curly hair, He would have given it to you. He made you perfect just the way you are. AND...if God wanted you to have pink hair He would have given that to you as well. But instead, He gave you beautiful blond hair and I think He likes it that way."

Nicole: "But I want pink hair!"

Mom: "Well then sweetie, maybe you should pray about it and if God wants you to have pink hair, then one day you'll wake up with pink hair."

Done. Enough said. End of conversation.

Until this evening when, out of no where, Nicole said," Daddy, I really want pink hair." My husband looked at me and said, "Leah - we have tattoo's how can we tell her No?" I gently reminded him that both of us were over the age of 18 when we got our tattoo's and that he could tell that when she is 18 she can color her hair whatever color she wants. Somehow, my message got lost in translation because the next thing I heard was...

"Nicole, when you are 14 years old...you can make your hair whatever color you want."

Yes, go back and read it again. I said 18...he said 14. Lord help me please, it's gonna be a long road with this little gal!

Lord, please help our precious daughters to see themselves in Your perfect image. To be content the way that You made them and not to be swayed by the things that the world says are important or cool. Keep them pure, modest, and help them to learn to focus on the hearts and not their appearance. Amen.